What kind of a guest are you?

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Wedding receptions are a lively affair and the dinner part evokes certain humorous situations. The moment the announcement is made regarding the serving of dinner, there is a 100 metre dash to the venue. In the process we sometimes witness trip and fall situations. The whole scene makes one feel that the guests were hungry since ages.

The types of characters one sees are as follows.

The scanner: This person never starts the process of filling his plate unless he scans the entire layout of the dining hall and the dishes on offer including the location of the water and dessert. He acts more like a member of a police investigation team. After he is satisfied with his scanning, he begins his food attack.

The touch me not: This person picks up the plate and extends his elbow to the maximum so that nobody dare jump the queue. In case someone accidentally touches him, he extends his hands to the sides like a traffic cop, signaling to wait.

The hoarder: This person as usual starts with the salad and fills more than half the plate with it as if the item will never again be available. Similarly he fills his plate with all the items available so much so that his plate resembles a miniature Mount Everest. By the time he begins to eat, the rotis in his plate resemble soaked clothes and the pickle and salads have to be excavated from the bottom. Poor Chicken 65 is lying somewhere hidden in between the Gobi Manchurian and Palak Paneer.

The express: This guy eats with such a speed as if the last and final call for boarding the plane is announced. He is all the while swallowing his food and keeps track of the dishes in other guests’ plates. He literally rips the chicken piece apart as if he has an age-old enmity with it. He keeps moving from one place to other, all the while keeping track of the rush at the dessert table.

The Digger: This type hangs on at the Biryani counter and ensures that he is served with the choicest of meat cuts. He himself digs deep into the vessel and comes out with succulent pieces. He leaves the counter only after he gets his `pound of flesh’.

The Perfectionist: This person is extremely careful in choosing the dishes on display as if calorie conscious. After filling his plate, he relishes every item as if having all the time in the world. In case he gets hold of a piece of meat with a bone, he makes sure that all the nutrients in the bone are sucked into his system.

The Dessert specialist: To end it all, this person approaches the dessert counter as if going to war. He mentally makes a note of the items on the table. One scoop of ice cream will not do. He loads his cup with two big scoops and instead of eating it, he proceeds to the gulab jamun and drops one to the ice cream and moves on to the custard. By now the contents have begin to drip on to his shirt and poor gulab jamun is unable to stand it and jumps on to the floor. Anyway the person makes a cocktail and relishes it with the sides of his mouth dripping with ice cream.


  1. March 25, 2012


    Nice article. In fact a factual one.
    The point – The Insecure — mentioned by Kinner Murthy garu is also appropriate.

  2. March 22, 2012

    Dr Vikram Venkateswaran

    Amazing, there might be many more like the boozer, seen in many North Indian marriages, will drink like a fish and eat very little and that too mostly starters…

  3. March 22, 2012

    Kinnera Murthy

    The Insecure – who eat closest to the counter as if the food would be over or they would die if they do not refill as soon as they finish! In many buffets, people start eating at the counters and stick to them till they finish

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